Seeking revenge can make you feel worse

Seeking revenge can make you feel worse

Rachel Kramer Bussel

Remember what Don Corleone said about revenge in the Godfather? He said it isn’t worth it - that vengeance wasn’t going to bring Sonny back - nor would it bring back Phillip Tattaglia’s son.

Interestingly enough, a study authored by Kevin Carlsmith at Colgate University agrees. About revenge, not Tattaglia’s son…

The results suggest that, despite conventional wisdom, people—at least those with Westernized notions of revenge—are bad at predicting their emotional states following revenge ... .

The reason revenge may stoke anger’s flames may lie in our ruminations, he says. When we don’t get revenge, we’re able to trivialize the event, he says. We tell ourselves that because we didn’t act on our vengeful feelings, it wasn’t a big deal, so it’s easier to forget it and move on. But when we do get revenge, we can no longer trivialize the situation. Instead, we think about it. A lot.

“Rather than providing closure, it does the opposite: It keeps the wound open and fresh,” he says.

"Revenge and the people who seek it"

June 10, 2009 in Relationships   

Comments:

Name:

Email:

URL:

Remember my personal information

Notify me of follow-up comments?

Submit the word you see below: