A time out is crucial because our adrenaline comes in and we really can’t think or hear or function, and so we know that a time out really need to be twenty minutes when you’re not thinking about the problem at all.
They’ve got all kinds of research showing how the brain works and that if you’re ‘flooded’ with emotions you just can’t think, and you’re going to say something you regret.
And so honoring when your partner says ‘I really need a time out’, and not pursuing him or her ... but understanding that together as a couple we agree that time outs are recommended by the researchers and the scientists, and that it’s a good thing to take a time out.
But then you have to come back in twenty minutes or you agree to come back tomorrow morning after you’ve had sleep.
Diane Sollee
Smart Marriages®
Founder and Director, Smart Marriages
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