When you talk about the problems of elder care and ... being dependent on others for daily life, the problems encompass a larger group than we might think.
It’s not just the daughter who’s there all the time, which is the standard image of the caregiver, but the whole family, including in laws; the daughter’s husband, the son’s wife. They’re all implicated in this family network that are experiencing strains and pressures and possibly disagreements about what should be done ... .
The most obvious lesson that comes from this is the importance of keeping lines of communication open, and at least being aware that problems like this can arise, so that you don’t get taken by surprise when you learn that your sister usually resents the fact that you don’t spend more time helping take care of mom ... .
Douglas Wolf
Center for Policy Research, Syracuse University
Gerald B. Cramer Professor of Aging Studies
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