If you know that every time you have a conflict you end up not speaking to each other ... you’re going to avoid it, and you need to not table it, not put it under the rug.
You need to know that you have the skills together to handle the conflict ... and to make sure that you address your differences ... .
One of the skills we teach ... is not how to get your meaning across with ‘I’ statements for what you want ... but to learn to listen to your partner in a way that they can not possible doubt that you love them, and that you want to make love to them when you’re through talking about this.
That’s the main skill for marriage; ... to really show your partner that you really love them as you’re listening to them, and that you want to hear more, you want to know everything about this for them.
Diane Sollee
Smart Marriages®
Founder and Director, Smart Marriages
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