You need to say ‘well, tell me more about this, tell me more about how you see it. Tell me more about why you feel that way’ ... .
Before you react and defend yourself, you need to buy some time to just get centered and present by this question; ‘Tell me me more about how you see it’.
And then if you really are starting to react and ‘getting your buttons pushed’, you might have to repeat back, ‘Look, let me tell you how I hear what you’re saying’, so you force yourself to repeat back what you heard the person say.
Just listening to this person’s unhappy story, or listening to their ‘beef’ will do an amazing amount to mend the wound ... .
Susan Campbell, Ph.D.
Tools for Conscious Communication
Relationship coach, teamwork consultant
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