Your teen may tell you a story, you may believe the story, you may later find out that they weren’t telling the truth.
At this point, parents get hurt, they get angry, and they want to say ‘you lied to me, how could you do this to me?’
That’s not where you want to go ... .
The first time something happens that is not okay, then you say to the child, ‘This happened, and this is not okay; we have to talk about this. That’s a “freebie”, and in the future, this is what’s going to happen’ ... .
Consequences should be time limited, (and) they should be relevant to the behavior, if possible ... . If he stayed out late, for instance, and there was advance warning, then the next night, however many minutes he was late the first night are deducted from his next night’s allotment.
Jean Walbridge, ACSW, LCSW
Parenting Adolescents
Psychotherapist, author, parent
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